LIVING WITH GRIEF  

 “We say, ‘Time heals all wounds.’ But it’s not true. It’s what we do with our time.” Pastor Emile Maxi, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, emphasizes. “God has given us control over the decisions we make in governance of ourselves.”

The emotional pain a person feels reaches the deepest levels of human agony when you experience the loss of a loved one. After a tragic past of loss and traumatic abuse, Emile Maxi discovered the blessings that all may know in the midst of their sorrows and suffering—how one can come to a place of healing for his heart and mind on his own journey through the process of grief recovery.

“God provides us with truth, wisdom, opportunities, but God never does the choosing for us,” Pastor Maxi underscores. “To pray to God to act in places where it is your responsibility to act is to misunderstand reality and to stay trapped in some destructive habit pattern or situation.”

In 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler Ross first identified the five stages of dying in her ground-breaking book: On Death and Dying. As a psychiatrist, she saw that patients who were dying appeared to go through common experiences or stages. Working with David Kessler, these five experiences were adapted to people who are grieving.

The five stages of grief they identified are:

  1. Denial: shock and disbelief that the death has occurred,
  2. Anger: that someone we love is no longer here,
  3. Bargaining: All the what-ifs and regrets,
  4. Depression: Sadness from the loss, and
  5. Acceptance: Acknowledging the reality of the loss.

“Everyone who is grieving doesn’t have to go through these stages in the same, predictable order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance,” Pastor Maxi explains. “These stages describe a general process because each person grieves in his or her own way. For example, if someone has had to grieve the loss of multiple loved ones, each grieving experience will follow a very different process. The truth is that everyone has experienced some form of grief. Even if you have never experienced the loss of a loved one, there are over 43 different types of grief. Not just death. It could be anything from a divorce to the loss of a job to the loss of a pet to the loss of control of one’s body.”

Over time, Pastor Maxi discovered how he couldn’t live with his personal grief and trauma any longer. It was just too much to continue living and watching it destroy his life and the life of his loved ones. “I had been praying for a mighty long time, and it was not as though God didn’t do anything. He did. He placed the key in my hand, and I had to decide to use it and drive the car myself. God gave me the key to ‘the Cadillac,’ and He wanted me to drive it, but I was expecting Him to drive it for me. What I am saying is that God gave me a life, and He expected me to choose to enjoy it.”

To hear more of the healing strategies for living with grief and to listen to Pastor Emile Maxi’s personal journey of grief recovery, simply watch It Is Written Canada this month on CTV or the dozens of networks where It Is Written Canada is aired across Canada and around the world. Or go to iiw.ca or It Is Written Canada’s YouTube videos and click on the program entitled: “Living with Grief.”

– Mike Lemon

MARCH 1

Optimal Digestive
Wellness
A large percentage of Dr. Darlene Blaney clients struggle with digestive disorders. This is critical because our digestion influences everything from nutrient absorption to immune function. Having a healthy digestive system is crucial in obtaining optimal health physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.

MARCH 8

Managing Perpetual
Problems in Marriage
Learn practical ways to understand how to manage perpetual problems in your marriage, or other significant relationships, and overcome the destructive effects of gridlock.

MARCH 15

Living with Loss
Living with loss is one of the hardest things a person can go through, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a personal injury, the loss of health, property, friends, finances, that job you were depending on, that betrayal by that friend or lover, or even divorce. However, it is possible to find a way forward while honoring what (or who) you’ve lost. Mike shares some insights that may help you in your journey of living with loss.

MARCH 22

Living with Grief
Pastor Emile Maxi, a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, who after experiencing a tragic past of loss and traumatic abuse, discovered the blessings that you too may experience in the midst of your sorrows—how you too can come to a place of healing for your heart and mind on your own journey through the process of grief recovery.

MARCH 29

Dealing with Loss
Some losses in life are self-inflicted. And some losses come at us unexpectedly. What do we do when we are faced with the loss of a loved one, when life is totally out of our control? What do we need to know about God at times like these? Why does He choose to not answer prayers sometimes? How do we handle the loss of a child when we stand helplessly by? What does God want us to know about Him at times like these?

THIS MONTH’S FREE OFFER – The Incredible Power of Prayer, by Roger J. Morneau

The Incredible Power of Prayer is a most powerful collection of stories, that will both strengthen your faith in God and also introduce you to many powerful truths found in the Bible that can transform your prayer life.

Free Offer

ASPARAGUS TOFU CURRY

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 tsp oil, divided
  • 3/4 tsp cumin seeds
  • 3 cloves of garlic finely chopped, divided
  • 1 1/2 cups chopped asparagus (1-to-2-inch pieces)
  • 1/2 small onion chopped
  • 1/2 inch ginger minced
  • 1/2 tsp garam masala
  • 1/4 tsp turmeric
  • a generous dash of cayenne pepper
  • 2 medium tomatoes chopped
  • 2 tsp ketchup
  • 1 cup cubed firm tofu
  • a big handful of baby spinach
  • 1/2 tsp or more salt to taste
  • 1/4 to 1/2 tsp sugar
  • 1/2 cup or more non-dairy milk

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Heat 1/2 tsp oil in a skillet over medium heat. When hot, add cumin seeds and let them get fragrant or change color considerably. (2 minutes)
  2. Add the chopped asparagus and 1 clove of minced garlic. Cook for 2 minutes or until some edges are golden. Stir
    occasionally. Transfer the asparagus to a plate.
  3. In the same skillet, add 1/2 tsp oil, onion, garlic, ginger and a pinch of salt. Cook until translucent. 4 mins. Stir occasionally.
  4. Add the spices, tomatoes, ketchup and a good splash of water. Cook until the tomatoes are saucy. 5 mins. Stir
    occasionally and mash the larger pieces.
  5. Add the tofu, spinach, and asparagus and mix in. Add the non-dairy milk, salt and sugar and mix in. Cover and cook for 3 minutes. Taste and adjust salt, sweet and heat. Add more non-dairy milk and bring to a boil. Garnish with cilantro and red pepper flakes. Serve hot over rice, cooked grains or with flat bread.