February 2021

YOU WERE DESIGNED WITH A LONGING FOR LOVE

Ever since I was a tiny human, I’ve loved hugs. My mom, my dad, my brothers, and my friends—I embraced them all.

And then, my parents divorced.

My mom took us on a train ride from Sudbury, Ontario to Regina, Saskatchewan. Because she was unable to take care of her four boys, she placed us in an orphanage called the Orange Home in a little town called Indian Head, about 70 kilometres east of Regina.

My eldest brother, Joe, went to the Orange Home farm, and my other brothers, Pete and Bob, twins, stayed in the big boys’ dorm, while I was consigned to the little boys’ dorm.

I was three years old, and this physical distancing meant no more hugs.

Medical research informs us that hugs boost the immune systems of all humans and make them happier, even the tiny ones.

I cried myself to sleep that first night.

I distinctly remember a certain day when I saw my big brother Pete surrounded by a swarm of other boys of all sizes, and I ran to him and wrapped my tiny-tot arms around his big-boy waist. Pete stiffened, looked down at me, and told me to stop hugging him because “boys don’t hug each other.”

Although I knew my brother still loved me, a tap turned off in my heart. I developed a series of ongoing illnesses, even having to stay in a hospital for weeks on end, causing my mother to fear I might die.

Love and the expression of love are absolutely vital to our existence.

During our current time of physical distancing and social isolation, the number of adults experiencing depression has tripled in North America since the lockdown measures began, according to a Public Health JAMA Network study (JAMA Netw Open. 2020;3(9):e2019686. doi:10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.19686).

Like ants need a colony, people need a family; God, in His mercy, has blessed René and me with two devoted daughters and a supportive church family.

Created in the image of God, humans were not designed to dwell in solitude; we were created to be social beings.

You are like a cell phone—always looking for connections. From the time you were born, you were looking for connections. You cried until you were put into your mother’s arms, and then you were happy because you were connected with someone who loved you.

Did you know that the presence of meaningful connections with friends is the leading indicator of health and happiness in all countries and cultures (Vital Friends, by Tom Rath). A Duke University study showed that people with less than four close friends were twice as likely to die from heart disease or cancer, which are the leading causes of death in Canada.

Right from the beginning of the Bible, God emphasized: “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Without companionship, no matter how much money you make or how beautiful your house or how perfect your job, you can’t be completely happy. God knows that. He designed you that way.

Look at how Dr. Dean Ornish writes about this in his new book entitled: Undo It!: How Simple Lifestyle Changes Can Reverse Most Chronic Diseases. He writes: “People who are lonely and isolated are three to ten times more likely to get sick and die prematurely from all causes compared to people who have a sense of love and connection and community. There is nothing else in medicine that has such a powerful impact on our health.”

Today, I want to encourage you to value the connections you already have with your friends and family and also, by whatever means possible, to seek to make new connections with those who are locked behind doors of loneliness because it is not good for any of us to be alone.

Before I let you go, I want to invite you to join René and me for fifteen minutes every Friday evening at 7:30 P.M. Eastern Time on Facebook Live to connect and welcome in the Sabbath together. We want to keep it warm, casual, friendly, and spiritually uplifting for anyone who is feeling a little disconnected and wanting to meet with others in these trying times of this lockdown. So, let’s meet on Facebook Live Friday evening at 7:30 P.M. Eastern Time.

May God bless you abundantly!

~ Mike Lemon