DEALING WITH GUILT & SHAME  

In a profound exploration of spiritual growth and self-discovery, Pastor Bill Spangler shares his introspective journey in navigating the tumultuous waters of guilt and shame. Through this honest reflection, Pastor Spangler offers insights not only into his personal transformation but also sheds light on how guilt and shame, often misunderstood, can be transformative spiritual experiences.

At the heart of his journey, Pastor Spangler’s primary motivation was simple yet profound: “I wanted to find my way back to the man I once was,” he explains.

This intense desire for self-restoration compelled him to confront his own heavy weight of guilt and the suffocating grip of shame.

“The most difficult part of processing this burden was the constant urge to hide,” he admits. Pastor Spangler describes a period marked by solitude, “I didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone.” This phase was necessary for him as he grappled with the fact that his private guilt was now publicly known, intensifying his feelings of shame. “I was sure that everyone I knew was talking about me,” he recalls, yet he found unexpected peace in no longer carrying his secrets alone.

Through this challenging period, Pastor Spangler encountered an epiphany regarding guilt. “I learned that guilt is actually God’s work on the conscience.” He compares it to a pain sensor warning of sand in your shoe. It’s a metaphor that captures God’s gentle nudge, urging one to rectify what’s wrong before more damage occurs. “Our guilty conscience is God’s method of getting our attention,” Pastor Spangler asserts, highlighting the constructive purpose of guilt which is “a gift to our soul, if we pay attention to it.” Shame, on the other hand, revealed its complex nature. He contrasts it with guilt with striking clarity: “Guilt that heals results in factual admission and accountability…. ‘I did that.’ ‘I said that.’”

Shame, however, is steeped in negative emotions, reconstructing actions into harsh judgments about one’s character. “Guilt says, ‘I told a lie.’ Shame says, ‘I am a liar.’ Guilt says, ‘I’ve done something bad.’ Shame says, ‘I am a bad person.’”

This distinction was pivotal for Pastor Spangler, as it prompted him to reframe his understanding of self-worth and personal mistakes, not merely as failures but as opportunities for growth and redirection. “People relate to us in healthy or unhealthy ways,” he observes, reflecting on how others’ reactions affected him. One of the examples he highlights is the difference between hearing, “Bill, I can’t believe you did something like this! How could you be so stupid?” versus, “Bill, what you did is simply wrong. I am glad you can see that. How can I help you find your balance again and walk with you to a place of healing?”

Pastor Spangler’s journey of recovery is a testament to the power of acknowledging one’s imperfections in the light of divine grace. “Jesus wants to help us fail forward; the enemy of souls wants to weigh us down with shame and leave us there,” he says. “Jesus wants us to live in freedom regardless of our past. The enemy wants us to stay stuck in the past.”

To hear more of Pastor Bill Spangler’s journey through personal failure and spiritual restoration, simply watch It Is Written Canada this month on CTV or the dozens of networks where It Is Written Canada is aired across Canada and around the world. Or go to iiw.ca or It Is Written Canada’s YouTube videos and click on the program entitled: “Dealing with Guilt and Shame.”